Friday, 22 April 2011

Has Good Friday Gone Bad?

It's not often that Aunty Brown receives this kind of gift from the blog gods such a sad, sad tale of beauty wrongdoing. It's so truly awful in fact that the writer could not bring themselves to share their name. I have promised to keep their terrible secret but beware, this person is someone you know and moves among us like any other ordinary beauty blogger. You may even be friends with this person, who knows. Of course, Aunty Brown is not open to bribes.....

Confession is good for the soul, go ahead and unburden yourself! I promise I won’t judge.

Dear Aunty Brown,

I feel I must confess.

I’ve had this secret for a while.

I am a beauty blogger.

And I’ve been a beauty blogger for a long time now.

But I have a guilty secret.

And the desire to share is overwhelming.

Sometimes, Aunty Brown, I …

Oh the shame, it’s just too much.

Sometimes I …

… Well, I sleep in my make up.

Say What?!

Not every day.

Just (of course!) on the days I wear make up.

You mean you don't wear it everyday? Where's the damn smelling salts...

And sometimes.

Oh, sometimes!
Sometimes, I don’t always take off the remainder the following day either.

Once, I got asked how I achieved a specific effect with a particular eyeshadow.

And the answer was:

“I applied it first thing yesterday morning, and haven’t washed my face since”

Which wasn’t the answer I think my friend was expecting.

Ironically, I have beautiful porcelain skin, (according to some of my readers) and very rarely get spots.

There, don’t you feel better now?


Artist's impression of what this poor soul looks like. Hair style and colour choices may not be representative.

Aunty Brown has a few more questions though; it’s true that I’m the nosy type.

When was the last time you visited the hairdresser?

A couple of weeks ago. He’s a bad, bad man, my hairdresser, but he’s exceptionally talented and wouldn’t let me leave until he had me looking like a million lire (37.8p at today’s exchange rates). I would have said a million dollars, but I’m fully aware I fall far short of the expected conventions of beauty.

Which bit of beauty trickery couldn’t you live without?

My brown paper bag. It’s the only way I can make myself acceptable on the tube.

You’ve overslept and have 5 minutes to get out of the house. Are you going out with dirty hair or no makeup?

Dirty hair. You shouldn’t wash it every day anyway. Mine gets a proper wash once, maybe twice a week. The rest of the time … well, how do you think I hit upon the brown paper bag trick?

Which trend still makes you cringe?

Trend I followed: wet look perms. Trend I despise: Concealer lips. Closely followed by lavender lips.


I don't know about you, but Aunty Brown's gone off for a lie down in a darkened room. Filth, pure filth! Dear Anonymous blogger, you want to hope that Mrs Hirons doesn't hear of this!

If you would like to take a turn and unburden yourself in the Friday Confessional you can email me at It's open to everyone: if you have something to confess, I'm happy to hear it!


  1. Wow. If you have been affected by anything in this post there is a helpline number you can call!! That was a beauty, made me lol!!

  2. “I applied it first thing yesterday morning, and haven’t washed my face since” ha ha ha ha ha :D
    I haven't slept in my makeup YET, but I'm interested to see what effects I could come up with if I did!

  3. @Debbie: quick pass me the helpline number...
    The shame Jane, the SHAME! And on a Holy day as well, honestly...looooooooooool
    The day-after eyeshadow, I swear, the best rock'n'roll eyes ever. :))))
    Nina x

  4. Oh loved this one! hahah great post Jane and ofcourse the naughty anon :)

    Fee x

  5. Enjoyed every word of this! lol

    I have had the wet perm hair and concealer lips! OMG .... the shame of it!

  6. Love the 'artist's impression' - cute!

  7. aren't alone #guilty

    Amy x

  8. This made me laugh! Thank you!
    I agree with inthesweetshop - definitely the best rock 'n roll eyes the day after!

  9. This is worrying! ABout not washing face in the morning even- nice loL!! But come on ANON own up, not fun of you to be anon :p

  10. Naughty naughty anon, eh?! My lips are sealed on their identity. I hope coming clean about their bad habits on such a Holy day cleansed them both metaphorically and in the literal sense!! ;)

  11. Lol, this post was so funny!!! :P

    I'm not gonna pass judgement on the bad habit: I'm an occasional offender too, but sadly my skin will complain the next morning... So WHO is this lucky gal with that awesome skin that can get away with it??? People like that exist??? Unfair!!! :)


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